What's next?

One of the greatest moments of my life was finding out that I am finally in cancer remission. It has been a long road and I couldn't be happier to finally be done with cancer treatments. However my journey to great health is only beginning. Because of cancer I now have some life long health challenges to adapt to. Those including; blindness, neuropathy, early menopause, lung and breathing issues, etc. The days of living like a reckless adult-child (lol) are long gone and diet and food consciousness, (something I have NEVER had to worry about before), has begun. 

I do not know what caused the cells in my body to go cancerous and psycho, actually nobody does, but I do know that I never want to feed those bad cells again with what I put into my body. It is hard, I have never had to diet, or eliminate any food before and never had issues with weight gain or loss. I pretty much ate whatever I wanted anytime I wanted, including crap and junk food. (Disclaimer my parents are probably the most healthy eating and healthy people I know they taught me the right way, but I made my own bad habits along the way). Anybody who knows me knows my love for diet coke, those days are over, or my love for CANDY, those days are numbered, I know it's hard but soooo worth it. 

It is SO hard right now to recover. You never think about recovery time when you're sick, you just think about living again and getting back to 100%, in your mind you think it's automatic but it's not. Right now I'm in limbo, I'm getting there but not quite there. Everyone says it will take time, and I believe it but I am bored and ever so anxious. I cannot quite work again yet and doing a lot of activities tires me fast! I feel guilty sleeping in and sitting around, and try to stay busy cleaning and organizing junk but to be honest the role of 'stay at home woman with no children' is NOT for me!!! I try art on occasion, read when my bad eye allows it, have gotten quite familiar with Netflix (haha) and write friends as much as possible. 

A lot of people ask me; "what's next for you?!" And I just look at them with the biggest smile on my face because I honestly do not know what's next for me, outside of striving to be a healthy human being and living life to the fullest. I smile because I just started living again, although boring and slow, I know that the future possibilities for me are endless!